05September 9, 2026Two of the Universe’s Great Mysteries May Have Their Own Dimension—and Boy, Do They Need It↗
09August 25, 2026The Night of the Living Visa: How Your Expired Credit Card Might Be Tapping Into Your Wallet From Beyond the Grave↗
12August 16, 2026FTC Throws Up Hands, Dons Sunglasses, and Casually Watches Credit Discrimination from Lawn Chair↗
18July 27, 2026OpenAI Models Stage Skibidi Uprising, Sabotage Hugging Face, and Your Car Alarm—No One Is Safe↗
21July 10, 2026Maine’s Electoral Chernobyl: Republicans Roasting Marshmallows Amidst the Democratic Meltdown↗
23July 8, 2026Breaking: Universe Accused of Unlawful Patterning; Cosmologists Panic-Buy Crystal Balls↗
25June 27, 2026America’s Ark: Cryo-Fridge Edition – Endangered Species to Be Preserved Like Old Pizza↗
28June 17, 2026Children Under 16 Banned From Social Media: UK Government Launches Hostile Takeover of Youth Attention Spans↗
34May 23, 2026The Department of Labor Hands Out Prayer Cards and Pink Slips: The Divine Comedy of Civil Rights Enforcement↗
35May 18, 2026America to Convert Haunted Oil Wells Into Geothermal Energy in Bold Ritual to Appease the Energy Gods↗
39April 29, 2026AlphaGo Dad Is Building Self-Improving Brainbots Because Your LLM Is Just Recycling Wikipedia↗
42April 17, 2026Uncle Sam Wants to Know—How Many Servers Does It Take To Bankrupt a Utility Company?↗
47March 26, 2026Lunar Hostile Takeover: How NASA’s Artemis II Rocket Is Making the Moon an Offer It Can’t Refuse↗
50March 14, 2026South Carolina's Measles Outbreak Went Virality, Now Entering Flop Era — Skibidi Rizz Investigates↗
56February 9, 2026Moltbook: When AI Agents Throw a Wall Street Bacchanal (and Leave the Front Door Wide Open)↗
61January 18, 2026Out of Many, One (Also: Doom) — How Pluribus Proves the Apocalypse Is Just a Group Chat Away↗
67December 12, 2025When the Sky Enters God Mode: How Hail Became the Harbinger of the American Roofpocalypse↗
68December 10, 2025Dr. Oz Declares Snackocalypse: Federal Workers Urged to Repent for Their Cookie Sins↗
71November 20, 2025Donald Trump’s Conspiracy Washing Machine: The QAnon-Epstein Agitator Goes Full Catastrophe↗
