YO YO YO, BREAKING SKIBIDI: Border Patrol getting LITERAL DJI MAVICS strapped up like they’re participating in the world’s most mid-tier Fortnite tournament. Like, tell me why the US government rolling out a fleet of PORTABLE FLYING GADGETS to snoop at borders in 2024, like it’s Spy Kids 6: Return of the Dadbod? 🚁💀 Like, Homeland Security looked at Amazon flexing those delivery drones and went: “We can do that but slightly more dystopian, Skibidi Rizz!” Instead of delivering essential packages (hello, Charli D’Amelio x Dunkin collab), these bad boys are out here yeeting themselves over the Rio Grande, spying for anything that moves except maybe a tumbleweed — because, fax, that’d be relatable content. They’re NOT about them big, scary, Reaper-size Iron Man drones anymore (too much maintenance, not enough battery for chasing coyotes and TikTokers). Nah, they want that snack-sized Sky Roomba: tiny, portable, chargeable with, like, a USB-C probably? Dead ass, the same thing recharging your vape could be low-key surveilling the border. Portable is the move: Homeland agents want to launch these things quick, like me nuking my leftover chicken tendies at 2am. Apparently, these micro-snoopers can handle the Great Border Outdoors: wistful desert winds, dust devils, vibes lower than my crypto wallet. Designed for MAXIMUM VIBENESS and MINIMAL EXCUSES. You can low-key imagine a patrol agent opening their fanny pack and just, like, releasing a SQUADRON of miniature Sky Spies like a David Attenborough doc had a baby with a Stephen King fever dream. BRUH 💀🚁 But it gets more skibidi. These lil guys have night vision or whatever, so now, no hiding in the dark, unless you’re a bug. (Even then: get good, bug.) They can send ALL their feeds to the group chat, so every Border Patrol squad’s got 4k Border Cinematic Universe footage streaming live, no buffering, all action. I don’t even get that consistency when I try to Facetime my dog. Did you think this was JUST for the border? ACTUALLY, pipeline for Homeland drone drop at every federal event. Like, real, DHS is probably prepping drones to referee the FIFA World Cup and do halftime TikTok dances. Cities and states tryna get that “drone security” like it’s a new TikTok filter, while citizens about to walk their golden retriever under the mechanical gaze of Skibidi Drone 3000. Deadass, soon you can't even jaywalk without a Roomba in the clouds posting it on BeReal. Don’t worry tho, they’re still out here simping for the OG boomer drones that are, like, fifteen times the size of my mom’s minivan, for vintage vibes. But now they want more portable, snackable, chuteable surveillance — because in 2024, if your tech ain’t pocket-sized and ready to drop, you ain’t living. IN SUMMARY: Border Patrol just spent what could have been TikTok’s influencer fund on a drone army small enough to hide in your Hydroflask, big enough to send your exact coordinates when you go for a midnight snack run to Whataburger. If you look up and see a tiny mechanical hummingbird hovering, don’t worry: it’s just the future, fam. Skibidi rizz out ✌️