Listen up, you budding Masters of the Universe. Data center expansion? It’s not just growth. It’s Manifest Destiny with server racks. Tech titans are building gas plants with the reckless abandon of Wall Street bros after three martinis and a sniff of deregulation. The future isn’t electric—it’s an unlimited open bar of fossil fuels and raw ambition. Google, Meta, OpenAI—instead of waiting for the sluggish public grid, these geniuses are throwing up personal gas-fired power plants faster than I can say, “Greed is good.” You want to process all the world’s cat videos at petabyte speed? You’re going to need juice. Nuclear? Too hard. Wind? Too soft. Solar? Please—wake me up when the sun shines at 3 a.m. No, we throttle up with good old Red, White, and Blue natural gas, piped in fresh, spiced up with a hint of regulatory loophole. Forget the haters yammering about emissions. They’ll be typing their angry Tweets on phones powered by the same plant keeping my Bloomberg Terminal humming and my buy orders blasted out at lightspeed. It’s a race, and America doesn’t lose. China’s building airy green-tech cloud palaces out in the countryside? Adorable. Here, we build power like we build dreams: big, brutish, burning prehistoric soup right under the feet of the consumer. Renewable this, sustainable that, circular economy blah blah—meanwhile, our servers are burning gigabytes and gigawatts, and our emissions could toast a small island. These are the kinds of moves that make shareholders stand and salute during the national anthem at a stadium built on top of a data center. Opposition, you say? Some people don’t want your hyperscale gas station humming next to their yoga studio? Breathe deep: that’s the smell of capital allocation. Protests, moratoriums, local politicians getting cold feet—nothing stands between FAANG and a well-placed lawyer. Financing? Don’t make me laugh. There’s more money being sloshed into behind-the-meter plants than into private jets in the Hamptons. Is it efficient? Don’t care. Is it green? Define green. Will it be built? Baby, when you tie trillions in AI market cap to turning turbines, you’ll have more ribbon-cutting ceremonies than a mall opening in 1987. We’re not just building data centers here, we’re paving the digital Silk Road with 80s excess. So take notes, kids: To win the future, you don’t wait for the wind to blow. You build your own damn weather system, powered by flaming hunks of Cretaceous-era lizards, and you call it progress. The only thing alarming about this gas power boom is that we didn’t do it sooner. Gordon out.